Heavy on my Head

Heavy on my Head

I open my mouth

and take you in

Physically ready

But my brain is absent.

–I’ve switched off–

The wood of the dock is rough,

the water’s smooth.

The sky is blue and it smells like summer.

Your hands, heavy on my head.

bring me home.

–I’d like to stop–

My lips are numb

my eyes are wet,

though I’m not crying.

I caress my own arm

and pretend

you’re not watching porn.

That you say,

come up here baby.

Let me see you.

I had a guy say that to me before.

Once.

And it meant the world.

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