Standing Still

How eager I am to forgive you.

To let by-gones be by-gones

To let you hold me when I should run

To let you screw me, in the dark

while I cry into my pillow

Or let the tears fall onto your stomach

hoping you don’t realize

it’s not just my spit, warming your skin

because you would be mad

Where is my sense of self preservation

The little voice that calls out danger

I stayed away from booze

Stayed clear of drugs

Then I met you.

And I disappeared.